Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
