I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I forget how to act sober
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
