If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
