I just cut my nipple shaving
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
