the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
They are going to name an STD after you.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
