alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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