super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Randomize
