so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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