It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
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