Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
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I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
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It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
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