well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
