If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
