Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
