My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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