who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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