Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
