Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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