Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
