Plan B is the new Plan A
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I could fuck to npr.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
