weddingsv make me drug and hornr
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
