he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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