Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
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We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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