giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
