Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize