I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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