I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
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In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
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I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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