i just wanna soil my oats bro
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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