I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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