If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize