Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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