I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
