You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
