your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
