grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
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Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
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I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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