I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
