Already got asked if we're dating
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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