I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize