is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
