HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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