I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
