kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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