What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
