i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
