you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
