I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize