FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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