Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
