yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
