You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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