i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
