So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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