Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
