He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
