Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
