We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
