No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
