Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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