I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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