saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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