Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
